Is it just me or others too..!!

Blaming others for the pain we feel each time someone fails to live up to our expectations is no different than burning our tongue on coffee that's too hot to swallow, and then calling our cup an idiot! - Guy Finley

Unfulfilled expectations always cause problems.

Never have expectations from people, because they do not always live up to it. Expectations might be from a friend or a family member, fiancée, or even something like a promotion, better job, salary hike, students expecting results etc.. And when you don't get what you have been dreaming of with your eyes open, it really hurts. All the dependent plans fail and an avalanche of shattered dreams is all that is left in the heart. Don't have expectations and if they do something for you, then that would be a wonderful surprise and if they don't then no problem. You did not expect them to!

One of the main reasons for people being unhappy, sad or dissatisfied is that they expected something very strongly and it doesn't happen. It is every one's experience. May be once, or twice, or scores of times.. But people don't change.. Do expectations really hurt??

I think yes.. but should we really not expect anything ever?? Is expecting things from our loved ones also wrong?? Can’t we even communicate our feelings to the other person and expect them to do something about it?? Once we expect something from someone we always think that he/or she will fulfil our desires. But once we find it is not done then as usual we feel hurt. It is like expectations connect us with a person and when we find it is not fulfilled then disconnection take place and disconnection of any kind is associated with pain. People always say, it is always better to not expect anything in relationships so that we stay away from disappointments. However, I believe a true relationship gives pleasure, because most of time things happen as expected.

Time and again I have cursed myself for expecting too much from people, those very people whom you thought were genuinely concerned about you. Alas! No one even comes anywhere near to being selfless in this materialistic world. May be the mantra of life is just to live it to yourself then, without caring much about others, because I don’t think there are many sane people who can give selflessly without expecting atleast a bit in return. But then as goes a popular saying- life is too short to live it just for you. In that case, can anyone help but expect? And when your expectations are crushed, you can’t help but spend the rest of the day sulking and wondering what to do next- if to throw a tantrum or let things just go, if even to continue living life the way you want, or simply turn your face selfishly from those who deserve every bit of your selfishness and arrogance.

I read somewhere and truly believe in: Never give yourself away in a relationship. By "give yourself away," I mean making sacrifices that conflict with what you need from the relationship. Never sacrifice your own personal integrity with regard to getting your needs met. The healthier image you have of yourself, the less likely this will occur. Some of the surprises may show up as challenges for the relationship. They bring couples together and give them something to share. When two people really love each other and are committed to work together, those kind of surprises create the kind of conversation that empowers both love partners to continue to self-inquire, to investigate their curiosities about what they can do to stand together, to be challenged by the surprise and know that everything is going to be okay.

But somewhere deep in my heart, I do know that this is what they call life- every bit of which is a challenge. Also that it is these painful moments which have helped me grow mentally over the years. Also, which somewhere made me realise I could write and the feeling of solace I receive while the feelings and thoughts are poured out of my pen. And how I love the feeling as over the years this my diary or pen have never shown a streak of impatience as I tear n scribble my thoughts over it every now and then, but somehow been with me through the worst of my situations. As my pen itches to write down the words which keep my mouth empty, as i sit here quietly and my hand moves swiftly over my pad.

 I only wish I could do without expecting too much from people. And if I have to do so after all, I wouldn’t be so naïve as not to voice them out….because nothing hurts more than carrying a smile on your face when from within the pain is eating you up, like an insect eating up a fruit from within without messing with its lustrous skin. I wish I would not always make a fool of myself everytime in front of those who don’t even give a damn to me. I wish my tears could wash away with itself the pain from my heart and could give a feeling of content.

Small little things...!!!

Everyone wants to be happy, yet joy is elusive for most people. One reason is that people tend to expect their happiness to come from big things, like a promotion at work or a sizzling new romance. To have a truly happy, peaceful existence, however, it is necessary to find happiness in little things. Life is made up of little things, so enjoying them for all their worth is bound to make for a more pleasant life.

Everyone goes through several ups and downs in their life. I have, and I am sure even u have, and its definitely difficult to find the way out of the clouds, and be happy once again. There are many things we do and many things we realise that help us feel better. In my case, I realized how fortunate I was to have the love and support of my family and true friends, and that I could always turn to them for help and guidance. I've always tried to keep active when I'm feeling down so that my mind stays away from the things that depress me. It's really hard sometimes.

Being happy and content with the small pleasures in life requires us to slow down and take a little time enjoying them. Do you have a pet? Slow down enough to sit with your animal friend and show it a bit of affection. Play ball with your dog or wiggle a string in front of your cat. And don't forget to have fun with the kids, too. Playing a simple board game can make the house ring with laughter.

Another thing I've done is to try to express my feelings and work through them through articles or poetry. It helps to just get those feelings out and on paper. It helps me to realize what is really going on, so I can work through it better. Plus, the process itself just makes me feel happy. When a situation gets me down, I work hard to find the silver lining. Sometimes it's a very, very thin silver lining, but I’m convinced that when you look hard enough, it's there!

I feel happy even going to a ngo maybe, or some old age home or even an orphan age.. whats the harm in just giving some time of yours to those people who lack happiness. Look at them, and then think aren’t you happy with what you have?? Play with the kids, teach them, or just sit and speak to d old ones.. isn’t it a satisfying feeling?? i feel happy and content whenever I do that.. if not an old age home.. sit and just speak to the old generation of your family and see the glow and happiness on their face..

I try to find happiness in the small things in life.. A beautiful flower, a rainbow, a hug or kiss from my mom or my frenz.. It's these little things that get me through a rough a day, and remind me to be happy and thankful for what I have.

Not everyone believes themselves to be a strong person, which would make this one the hardest to find happiness in. No matter how weak you believe you are, you have an inner strength that has most likely brought you through several hard times in your life. Reflect on those times and see how far you've come by the power of your own will and determination. Never lose sight of that and take joy in both all you have done and what you are yet to do.