Being friends with your ex..!! Is it worth it???

Learning how to be friends with an ex is easy, but the big question is whether you should be friends with an ex in the first place.

Being friends with an ex is a complicated decision that can go both ways. It can make your life worth it even after the breakup or it can play with your feelings to a huge extent. So do u still think you want to be friends with your ex?? Mostly I have seen is, yes you can stay friends even after a breakup, and people generally want to.

Both of you know each other really well and understand each other better than most others. There’s a huge river between the line of being friends with your ex, which needs to be crossed with caution. You may both know each other well, but the relationship you once shared will never come back. It’s a whole new relationship that you’re building together in the form of a friendship.

Letting go after a break up is tough to do, especially when you want to get back together with your ex.  Some relationships end in a “soft break up” where both sides walk away but still keep close contact with each other.  It is common in these scenarios for one person to still feel a strong attraction towards the other and they try to keep their ex in their life by settling as a friend.

Though a lot depends on why you broke up in the first place. Then only the point of being friends with him/her comes into existence.. Yes, I believe that after a considerable amount of time, after you have both really moved on, yes. Yes, you can be friends.

I say, the two big reasons why normal people that have had an average break up with no restraining orders, cant stay friends are:

1. You aren't done dating.
2. Or you aren't done breaking up.

While you're deciding, life is going on. And here's my going forward advice. Make sure you're finished dating this person. Make sure you're done breaking up. And then, after that is passed, make every effort to maintain at least a casual friendship if this is someone who is in your life anyway. If this is a person who is part of your circle of friends, someone that you are bound to bump in to time and time again, someone that your friends know and will continue to socialize with, make it easy on everyone including yourself. Be a grown up, have some maturity, suck it up if you have to, and really try. It will make everyone and every event more comfortable. You will look polished and mature, and easy going. You will be assured inclusion in any group events, even those reserved for couples. Then, if it does turn out that this ex is someone you would really cherish as a friend, you've paved the way.

Well, though on the other hand or on another thought.. One need not really just move on even.. People can stay friends with their ex even if they still care, love or pray for the other person. Even if all they want is to see the other person happy and make the person feel secure or atleast be there to support him/her. Probably, because you can never see them in trouble.  All you need to do is, be strong, make yourself such that you don’t fall or melt in front of them making them feel you want them..

In my opinion, being friends with your ex is not wrong. Though the idea varies from person to person. But I on a personal level feel that being with them is good coz somewhere it also gives you the satisfaction of knowing they’re still good.. recalling all the lost moments makes us feel revived at times. And I believe that if you have spent a considerable amount of time with the other person, why keep hard feelings for them.. instead relish or cherish the moments you have spent together and keep a bond which is strong till the end.. lifes too short buddy, why keep hard feelings for anyone, even if its supposed to be someone who has hurt you..coz if the person has hurt you, I am sure they’ve also given you one of the best of the moments in your life.

So can you be friends with an ex? well, your answer can make your life more miserable than you can ever imagine or even make you feel relieved from worries of the other person if you still have some feelings for the other person.

ALEXANDER THE GREAT's last 3 wishes...

This was written by 1 of my teachers. I happened to like it so much, that i felt like posting it here.

Alexander, after conquering many kingdoms, was returning home. On the way, he fell ill and it took him to his death bed. With death staring him in his face, Alexander realized how his conquests,his great army, his sharp sword and all his wealth were of no consequence.

He now longed to reach home to see his mother's face and bid her his last adieu. But, he had to accept the fact that his sinking health would not permit him to reach his distant homeland. 


So, the mighty conqueror lay prostrate and pale, helplessly waiting to breathe his last. He called his generals and said, "I will depart from this world soon, I have three wishes, please carry them out without fail." 


With tears flowing down their cheeks, the generals agreed to abide by their king's last wishes. 
1) "My first desire is that", said Alexander, 
"My physicians alone must" carry my coffin."

2) After a pause, he continued,
"Secondly, I desire that when my coffin is being carried to the grave, the path leading to the graveyard be strewn with gold, silver and precious stones which I have collected in my treasury".


3) The king felt exhausted after saying this. He took a minute's rest and continued.
"My third and last wish is that both my hands be kept dangling out of my coffin".



The people who had gathered there wondered at the king's strange wishes. But no one dared bring the question to their lips.. Alexander's favorite general kissed his hand and pressed them to his heart.
"O king, we assure you that all your wishes will be fulfilled. But tell us why do you make such strange wishes?" 

At this Alexander took a deep breath and said: 
"I would like the world to know of the three lessons I have just learnt.   

Lessons to be learnt from last 3 wishes of King Alexander...
I want my physicians to carry my coffin because people should realize that no doctor on this earth can really cure any body. They are powerless and cannot save a person from the clutches of death.
So let not people take life for granted. 

The second wish of strewing gold, silver and other riches on the path to the graveyard is to tell People that not even a fraction of gold will come with me. I spent all my life Greed of Power, earning riches but cannot take anything with me. 


Let people realize that it is a sheer waste of time to chase wealth.
 And about my third wish of having my hands dangling out of the coffin, I wish people to know that I came empty handed into this world and empty handed I go out of this world".

 With these words, the king closed his eyes. 

Soon he let death conquer him and breathed his last. . . . 


Remember, your Health is in your own hands, look after it. 


Wealth is only meaningful if you can share and also enjoy 
while you are still alive, kicking & healthy.

What you do for yourself, dies with you.But what you do for others will live for ever. 

Leave the Legacy behind

Nothing is Permanent...!!!

“Nothing is permanent in life, if there be anything permanent in life it would be change because change is constant.”

All my life there have been some or the other changes, some great, some small. I have dreamed of some changes and dreaded over others. Change has brought peace plus anxiety to my life. I have been through the game of emotions while experiencing change and I have also learned to embrace it. We observe this at all levels. On a universal level, stars form and collapse. On a global level, continents shift and climates change. On a personal level, we observe the decay of our body, changes to our mind, relationships coming and going, our possessions wearing out.

It’s always good to define our priorities in life. By priorities I mean in terms of people. With time and seasons, people do change which is a bitter truth. Here, I don’t intend to talk about only others but also about myself; I also might have changed for many people. But does it really matter when people we were, so close to become just an acquaintance gradually? Yes, it does matter for a moment or two but life does move on and so does people in our lives. Priorities do keep changing and when we look back, we just have some faint memoirs to which we smile. Bygones are bygones! Who could ever do anything about it? We come across many ups and downs in life and that’s the way it is supposed to be. Everyone is there with us at our ups or let’s put it this way – we don’t really notice who are with us during the ups because we’re just so happy and content that we happen to overlook. During our downs things are not quite the same as that’s the time when we really need people to stand for us. The matter of fact is that those very people are the ones who are our friends in true sense and loves us unconditionally. It is just a process of making us stronger with time. If we just get going with the fact that nothing is permanent – be it the good times or the bad, life becomes heaps easier to live!

When we fail to acknowledge impermanence, we cling to things. We cling to our youth, to our health, to our relationships, and to our possessions. We cling to them as though they could provide lasting happiness, as though they will last forever. Eventually, reality intervenes. That to which we cling is taken from us, and we forced to face the truth of impermanence. Thus we have the pain of a stolen car, of an ended relationship, or the death of a loved one.

In reality, the pain associated with clinging arises even before these moments. The pain arises earlier in the form of fear. Deep down, we are already aware of the impermanence. Therefore, if we cling to something that is temporary, we live in fear of the day when it will be taken from us. We can have a much happier life if we instead realize and accept the impermanence of existence. We can see the futility of clinging to things, and instead learn to appreciate them while we have them, but without staking our happiness on them. This also helps us to make better decisions. When we understand that we will change, and that other people will change, then we can recognize when a fresh approach is needed.

Expecting and even anticipating change has brought stability to the way I live. I appreciate change as if it were a divine plan; in fact I believe it is. I know that all of life’s lessons could not be achieved if any one thing were to remain the same. I believe change occurs as part of a plan set in motion before the beginning of time. I believe all changes are a test and catapult to launch us forward onto the next phase of our existence.

We know deep down that nothing is permanent, yet we strive so very hard to achieve the same impermanent things. When we don’t achieve them, we are so disheartened forgetting that “nothing is permanent”!!!!!! That is the cycle of life!!!! 

I believe “Nothing is permanent, everything will change” and I am thankful for that!

Compassionate Consumerism...!!!

Compassionate Consumerism is the phenomenon of conscious purchasing of products and services that are believed to have been made compassionately i.e. with no harm or damage done to humans, environment etc. However, it is more commonly known as Ethical Consumerism and generally involves the ethical treatment of animals for products and services.

Unethical treatment of animals rose towards the beginning of the 20^th century and today animals are cruelly exploited for a variety of commercial ventures which include entertainment, cosmetics, personal care, household products, food as well as pet trade. To counter this, the purchase of products from ‘Green Label’ companies i.e., companies that do minimal or no harm to the environment, animals, etc. in the manufacturing of products, must be encouraged.

Illegal pet stores have cropped up all over the country to meet the demand of the middle and high class. Here keeping exotic animals as pets is very ‘in’ but unfortunately they are kept in a filthy and inhabitable environment and are treated merely as tools for profit. It is a despicable practice and must be prohibited.

The fashion industry is perhaps the most insensitive as every year more than 50million animals are killed in the name of ‘fashion’. Animals in slaughter houses and farms spend their entire lives confined to cramped, filthy wire cages. Fur farmers use the ghastliest and most inhuman killing methods available like suffocation, electrocution, gassing, and poisoning. There is no excuse for wearing animal products, as many fashionable and comfortable alternatives to fur, leather, silk, wool and fibers are available; the most popular being “Faux Fur’. This is any material made of synthetic fibers designed to resemble fur. It was first introduced in 1929 and has been commercially available since the 1950s. However its increasing popularity has been credited to its promotion by animal rights and animal welfare organization such as PETA. It has become increasingly trendy, so much so that celebrities have been seen sporting it on award ceremonies as closely scrutinized as the Oscars. It is a conscientious and compassionate alternative for fur.

Organizations such as the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals(PETA) operate under the simple principle that animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment or use for entertainment. They educate policymakers and the public about animal abuse and promote an understanding of the right of all animals to be treated with respect. They focus primarily on the areas in which a large number of animals suffer the most.

PETA’s investigative work, public efforts, research, animal rescue operations, legislative work, special events, celebrity involvement and international media coverage have resulted in tremendous improvement in the quality of life for animals and have saved the lives of innumerable animals. These organizations are prime examples of why we need to stop.

“IN THE END I WOULD JUST LIKE TO ADD THAT COMPASSION IS THE UNDERPINNING EMOTION OF HUMANS. IF ALL ACTIONS ARE BASED ON COMPASSION, THEN THE WHOLE WORLD CAN BE CHANGED, AND NOT TOO JUST IN TERMS OF ETHICAL TREATMENT OF ANIMALS”

Animal Cruelty...!!!

“Why should man expect his prayer for mercy to be heard by what is above him when he shows no mercy to what is under him?”  ~Pierre Troubetzkoy

Cruelty to animals …y??? The poor little creatures who love us despite of how we treat them.

One of the first steps in protecting animals and ­creating effective cruelty laws is knowing what animal cruelty actually is. There are two categories: passive cruelty and active cruelty. The first ­involves acts of omission, meaning the abuse happens as a result of neglect or lack of action. Passive cruelty might seem less serious, but that is not the case; it can lead to terrible pain and suffering, and ultimately death.  Animal abuse widely described as the infliction of suffering upon animals just for our own fun or rather needs. More narrowly, it can be harm for specific gain, such as killing animals for food or for their fur. For many of us, the animals in our lives are faithful pals who make us laugh, keep us company and love us no matter what. But in times of danger and tragedy, can we also count on them to save our very lives?  I think yes..!! I have read at many places about animals saving the lives of humans. What do the poor creatures not do for us. They give us all their love and life if they are our pets. Whether we treat them bad, they never stop loving us. I know some people wont agree to this, but from my experience, I have always noticed this.

It is hard to tell just what drives people to harm innocent animals. We humans are said to be the masters of animals coz we have brain and power.. but is that all needed to survive?? Is it really that necessary for us to impose cruelty on animals??  I have always been an animal lover. Even when I go out on the streets and see these street dogs, my heart gives a cry for them. I gained more respect for my bestie when i got to know that the reason behind a swollen eye was their actionas to save a stary dog from being beaten by some bastard. I would go folded hands to the people who really care for these species.
I would say if probably we didnt have Menaka Gandhi in our country, the animals stil wouldnt have got the little they have today. she has been one person to fight the world for animal rights. Her organisation "People for Animals" has helped to a huge extent in the welfare of animals, and i would hereby like to thank her for all the efforts she has made in this regard. Here in India, the stray animals are not even given any love. People throw stones on them, even if the strays dogs come to them for food..cant we give them a little to feed their stomachs?? Don’t they have the rights to live and be happy in their life?? Why are we the masters?? What harm have these animals done to us?? If we talk about rights to live, why do we only talk about human rights.. what about the animal rights? If we were put on this planet to live our life, even the animals are here with their rights to survive. Why are we making their survival so difficult here?? 

Today, campaigns of “save the tiger” have been created and awareness is being spread around for it. Where was the awareness when these animals were disappearing?? Why didn’t they realise it then?? Today, this campaign for tigers has been started when they are on the verge of being extinct..or as u can term is endangered species.. if after knowing this issue, we do not care about the other animals, the other animals will not take much time in falling under the state of being endangered.

If new medicines have to be invented, who has given humans the rights to test their vaccines or tests on animals? If we cannot kill our species of humans, why do we try the experiments on animals??  I salute the people who opened up animal shelters and are todays protecting animals. I agree even they haven’t been able to help all the animals, but atleast they have been able to help some part of this breed of the living species.

Different organizations  focus on different aspects of animal welfare. Some of them profess vegetarianism and create public awareness for being kind to the animals.  Some others are engaged in establishment of rescue homes, animal shelters, sanctuaries, pinjarpoles, and gaushalas,  where animals and birds in distress stay under protection.  However, despite different fields of activities of different animal welfare bodies and humane societies etc., the basic objective of their efforts is the same: to prevent unnecessary pain and suffering to the animals and to promote their welfare.

It's not only up to the legal system to ensure that communities across the country are aware and educated about animal cruelty. There are plenty of things everyday citizens can do. The simplest action is for people to take care of their own pets and learn the facts so they can educate others on proper animal care. Another easy way to help is by donating to or volunteering at a local animal shelter. Contrary to popular belief, volunteering doesn't require a lot of time; simply going in a few hours a week helps tremendously. Finally, by writing letters you can remind your local lawmakers that animal abuse is a real problem that needs to be addressed. Taking a few minutes to support this worthy cause not only helps animals, it allows you to feel proud about standing up for something so important to society.

It is our job to be the voice for creatures who cannot speak up for themselves. As a nation we need to make it our priority to come together and ensure the safety of our beloved pets. As Margaret Mead once said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

Here is a list of certain NGO’s that work for animals in Delhi n NCR

1)   Sonadi Charitable Trust

·         Near Sai Baba Mandir, Opposite S. P. Kapoor Farm House, Masksudabad,

Najafgarh, New Delhi - 110043, India.

Phone: 9212131218, 011 - 26275216, 9212797696

Email: simran@ssaconsulting.in

Activities: Animal shelter, veterinary hospital, animal ambulance, Shelter for  abandoned pets, boarding and lodging facility for pets,  awareness, animal rights, pet adoption.

2)   Love 4 Cow Trust

·         A12 S. F. S. Category -I, Pocket B, East of Kailash, New Delhi - 110065, India.

Phone: 9818434399, 9810785118

Email: webmaster@love4cow.com

Website: http://www.love4cow.com/

Activities: 24 hour cow ambulance.

3)   Friendicoes SECA (Society for the Eradication of Cruelty to Animals)

·         271 & 273 Defence Colony Flyover Market (Jungpura side),

New Delhi - 110024, India.

Phone: 011- 24320707, 24314787

Email : friends271@vsnl.net

Website: http://www.friendicoes.org/

Activities: Shelter, veterinary hospital, animal ambulance, pet adoption, wildlife rescue, animal birth control programmes, pet crematorium.

4)   Circle of Animal Lovers

·         E-67 DDA Flats, Saket, New Delhi - 110017

Phone: 26531419, 26511569

E-mail: info@circleofanimallovers.org

Website: http://www.circleofanimallovers.org/

Activities: Shelter, veterinary hospital, animal ambulance, pet adoption, mobile clinic, welfare of the beasts of burden, feeding stray animals, animal birth control program, animal vaccination.

5)   Manav Gou Sadan – A Shelter Home for Stray Cows

·         975, Streetjogiyan Near Jawaher Chowk, Najaf Garh, New Delhi-110043, India.

Phone: 9313327983

Goshala: Manav Gou Sadan Village Rewla, Khanpur, Near BSF Camp, Near Indira Gandhi International Airport, New Delhi-110071. (India)

Email: manavgousadan@rediffmail.com

Activities: Environment protection; Vegetarianism; Shelter for sick, injured and unproductive cows, animal ambulance, free OPD for cattle.

6)   Sanjay Gandhi Animal Care Centre

·         Near Shivaji College, Raja Garden, New Delhi - 110027, India.

Phone: + 91 (11) 25448062/25447751

Activities: 24 hours animal ambulance, hospital.

Life means Struggle

Life means struggle. So, as long as there is life there will be struggles to survive, struggles to live, struggles to improve ourselves, struggle to cope with day to day life, and the struggle to plan a better future.

Life is meant to be lived – as truthfully and in an accomplished way as you can, by overcoming all the obstacles that one comes across. Life changes every second, so you have to adjust and cope with multiple changes. To put it succinctly, there are really two attitudes that one can adopt. Either you allow life to rule over you or you rule over life. Lots of people set their terms for their lives and most of them just lie back, saying this is what is destined for me.

I feel life should be a nice mixture of both.  Sometimes you wish things to happen in a particular manner, and when they don’t, you wonder if some unknown entity is misguiding things for you. But I am going to make life work the way I want it to. Yet sometimes, you cannot stop certain forces from working in a particular manner, then you ought to allow life to take over and just accept it.

Dissatisfaction : The Prompter of Progress . . !!

I wish to draw your attention towards one of our basic feelings of dissatisfaction. Sometimes, we do not like something i.e. circumstances and conditions around us but it does not mean that we should always express our distress or dislike for the things that we do not like. We should learn to like the things to derive cheer from them as well. We should learn to live a happy life. If there are things which are not according to our wishes and desires, we express our dissatisfaction about them but we must also think how these can be improved or changed so as to be able to serve us in a proper and desired way.  It is of no use complaining about the cold winds in the winter or the scorching sun of the summer for we cannot do anything about them. What we can do is to think of the ways  and means so that adverse circumstances are not able to do any harm to us and at the same time we can do something good for others too. Being completely satisfied or dissatisfied with life leads us nowhere and it also discourages us from leading a happy life.

Total satisfaction leads to a static and cheerless life whereas complete dissatisfaction makes out life miserable and hard to bear. So, we should be dissatisfied to an extent but we should use our ideological reasons to remove our dislike. It was dissatisfaction that prompted Columbus to sail through the large seas and discover new countries.  It made Newton and Einstein unravel the mysteries of the laws of nature and it also made Louis Pasteur discover the unseen dangers of life. It is easy to be a fault-finder but it is difficult to be the one to put things in order and correct the mistakes made. So instead of getting irritated we should think and act so that things can be turned in the ay, we wish they are. But there are things about which we may not be able to do anything such as pouring rains or the roaring aeroplanes. We have to accept them and live with them, so, we should bear them with cheer. We should overcome our dissatisfactions like a soldier who faces them boldly and subsequently conquers them cheerfully.